When you or your employees suffer from stress it isn’t just a matter of ‘pull yourself together’ or ‘snap out of it’. Stress is a real problem which can have dire consequences for your business.

Research has shown that pressure at work (or at home) is causing many employees to succumb to stress related diseases costing many businesses a small fortune.  Yet excessive anxiety and stress are both preventable and avoidable.

To the sufferer it very often seems impossible to shake off anxiety or depression but it doesn’t have to be that way. The right professional help could sort out the problem in a matter of weeks, turning someone who has become a liability into your best asset.

Under the Disability Discrimination Act anxiety stress and depression may be sufficient to qualify a person as disabled and if you as employer have contributed to that stress it could cost you thousands.  In fact the  HSE calculated that the direct cost of workplace stress costs industry £530 million each and every year and in another study Norwich Union showed that indirect costs were double that – if they are right and if you have 10 employees that’s costing you about £30000 a year – that is a lot of profit margin down the drain.

But a little bit of stress is good for you isn’t it?  A bit of adrenalin keeps you alert and with your wits about you doesn’t it?  It keeps you sharp and on your toes.  So is this legislation interfering in the way you conduct your business?  Another example of the nanny state gone mad?

Well it is true that a little bit of anxiety/stress (call it what you will) does indeed increase awareness.  Being acutely aware of danger and poised ready to take evasive action is why our weak and puny species have survived all these millennia to rule the earth.  But it is also true that too much stress all at once or for too long a period will shut down your thinking, reasoning, logical brain completely.   Put in purely mercenary terms a stressed employee (or boss) is very very bad for the commercial health of any enterprise.

The statutory HSE Stress Management/Wellbeing audit will help you reduce the causes of stress in the workplace but it doesn’t end there. People don’t leave the stress of their everyday lives on the hall stand at home and pick up workplace stress at the office or factory door.  Whatever is happening for them in their private life; family trauma, phobias, hatches, matches or dispatches, financial strains, rows and illness is carried with them wherever they go.  Beset by private pressures they may be unable think efficiently and coherently about their job – and that is why it is in your interests to help them.  You can wash your hands of that of course and say ‘that’s none of my business’ but when it affects your profitability or development would that be the best thing to do?

Will pills help?

When you take your anxiety or stress problem to the doctor – and you should take your problem to the doctor – in all probability he will prescribe some pills. He is the doctor and pills may help so you should take them.  However they are like putting a sticking plaster on a festering sore.  Pills don’t deal with the cause or provide a long term solution.

So what will help?

Most people suffering in this way know consciously what changes they want to achieve but feel there is nothing they can do about it. In our practice we see people who have been struggling with their demons and who after just a few sessions experience the joy of being free from anxiety for the first time for years. It is a very rewarding moment for us.

Why couldn’t they do this for themselves?

It is because the problem lies deep in the subconscious mind and it needs expert help to resolve the conflict.  Our unconscious mind gets into the habit of reacting to certain circumstances in certain ways and no amount of conscious desire seems to shift the pattern but with the help of a qualified therapist, within a few sessions it becomes easy to do what until now has seemed difficult or impossible.

How Can You Help?

Help Yourself:  As a business owner or manager if you are feeling under a huge burden of stress and anxiety consult us now. You will learn a great deal about the debilitating effects of stress and anxiety, what may be done to alleviate it and the impact that may have on your own efficiency, creativity or effective management.

Help Your Employees:  It doesn’t matter if the stress is being created at work or at home YOU and your business are suffering the consequences in lost productivity, creativity and profitability.  Refer them to a fully qualified clinical hypnotherapist for the speediest improvement.

Tony

Stress Unravelled is a post from: The Life Design Studio

The law of attraction is meant to bring you everything you want right?

Just stick it on your wallpaper or get a fridge magnet with the image of what you want, a Ferrari, a million pounds, the man or woman of your dreams, you name it you got it! Right? No! – It isn’t that simple

Backstabbed might sound like a very harsh word,  but that exactly how many people feel when instead of what they want they attract unwanted experiences into their lives. And that is even when they they really believe in the power of the Law of Attraction!

So why doesn’t the law of attraction work – how did the negative result happen?

The secret of the Law of attraction is…..

No secret at all!  The Law of Attraction DOES work, whether we believe in it or not, it always works for everyone, with perfect precision every single time.  It never stabs anyone in the back.  EVER!  In fact it only can bring you what you are emotionally attuned to.

If you are sending out greed and avarice or other negative emotional signals out into the universe, how can you expect something positive in return?

To manifest the life you want, you need to feel good, happy and joyous and you do this by….

• Being aware of your feelings “in the moment”.
• Avoiding negative thoughts.
• Choosing happy thoughts.
•  Doing positive Actions that feel good.

If that is difficult for you, if you know what you want but you don’t know how to put yourself in that receptive frame of mind here something new very special  to help you do just that.

It is a unique social site designed to make  you feel HAPPY! And it is absolutely FREE!

==> The ‘Facebook’ of self improvement<==

There are very many good  sites on Self-improvement on the net  but this is special,  powerful, interactive and exciting as this. Completely revolutionary!

It’s red hot off the press too one of the BETA testers of the site called it the FACEBOOK of Self-improvement!

Use it – it’s free to join and when you start using the site,  do what it suggests and you will start cleaning up your negative vibrations, and open the doors to unlimited abundance in your life.

==> The Key to Abundance <==

This is a community of thousands of like-minded positive people. It’s new! Get in today! It’s FREE!

Regards
Tony

© copyright 2012 http://thelifedesignstudio.com, the law of attraction

Has The Law Of Attraction Stabbed You In The Back? is a post from: The Life Design Studio

Ever asked yourself should I tell the truth?

The truth will set you free is a biblical quote from John 8:32 and, like me, when you hear that you probably nod in silent agreement but do you tell the truth and indeed should you?  We are often strangely reluctant to tell or indeed receive the truth, why is that?

Perhaps the answer lies in this quote by Gloria Steinem, American Feminist, Journalist and Women’s Rights Activist “The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.”

What is a truth? The dictionary definition is ‘proven fact, actuality or standard’ but when we ‘tell the truth’ what we are doing is not usually just stating a fact but stating an opinion or belief which we have. We do this with   sincerity because we believe it to be the truth and it is. It is – OUR truth.

The trouble with that is that OUR truth is sometimes based on incomplete or downright misleading ‘facts’ and often slewed by our interests the intent of the person or organisation who provided us with the proof.

Before asking ‘Should I tell the Truth’  ask yourself what is the truth anyway?

The fact is that many if not most ‘facts’ are presented by people or interest groups who have an interest in persuading us to their way of thinking and for many of us that’s fine as long as they support our existing beliefs or positions.

We are justified in being cautious about adopting new beliefs. A truth can only be as good as the quality of information we have right now.  What is true now, in this moment, may not be true in the next second, hour, day, year from now. Truth has a way of changing over time.

What though if  when a proven truth is stated, uncovered or revealed and it doesn’t support your current beliefs?  That can be irritating can’t it?  The process of discovering we could have been wrong is a real challenge and brings down our spirits.  The natural tendency is to resist, be in denial, to defend our position and fight our corner.

This natural resistance  is what makes it difficult to tell others the truth, most people don’t want to know something that changes their established view of the world, what they want is validation of their own beliefs.  Why?

Ok. you know that your friend is taking the wrong path and ask yourself Should I tell the truth?

Will it do any good anyway? Enter our old friend the Ego. Ego driven people always think they’re right. It is for them to decide fact from fiction.  Once they form a belief then it becomes a truth and therefor THE truth to which all others should subscribe. Others beliefs must pass through their firmly fixed filters before they can be considered facts and since their views define their image of themselves they are unshakable.

Insecurity is probably the commonest  reason why people don’t want to face the truth. Their self-esteem and self-confidence are threatened by any suggestion that they may be wrong in an established belief.

When you tell what you believe to be the truth about what you think or feel to an insecure person you probably believe you are doing so to help them however they often view it as an attack on their beliefs or character.  They only want to hear it so you ask ‘Should I tell the Truth?’ Is it worth the hassle?

Only you can judge that.  Is your truth actually THE truth or are you that ego driven, insecure person intent of imposing your version of the truth on others? Is your truth THE  truth? Difficult isn’t it.

The cost of avoiding truth is freedom.  It does courage to accept the truth, or facts that do not support your current beliefs or opinions. It take an enlightened soul to realise that there are many truths and you may not have all the answers.

When first revealed, this truth may well piss you off; however, once you get over it, the joy of freedom of allowing others to offer alternatives to your beliefs and fostering the freedom to examine others will fill your heart with joy.

Instead of asking  ‘Should I tell the truth?’ it may help to ask your self  ‘How would it would it help to share my truth?’

Thats my opinion anyway, and that’s the truth!

© copyright 2012 http://thelifedesignstudio.com, should I tell the truth

Should I Tell The Truth is a post from: The Life Design Studio

So Is This The Most Uplifting Video Ever?

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(answer – quite possibly! – unless you know a better one!)

The Life Design Studio is edited by Bee and Tony Bennett who are leading Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists specialising in confidence performance and relationships.This useful site is devoted to sharing their knowledge with you.

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“10 top tips for sustainable relationships”

This Video Spreads Happiness Around the World is a post from: The Life Design Studio

Today is a new opportunity to love.

Every day is a new opportunity to love and give kindness.

Whatever happened yesterday is now in the past.  It’s just an echo and you can choose whether you keep that echo ringing in your ears today or let it fade away to its yesterday home.

Love is not martyrdom.  Love is not doing everything for everyone else and getting upset that they don’t behave the way you want them to in return.  That’s just neediness or anger or playing the victim, or manipulation.

Love gives without expectation of return.  Love is its own reward.  Love is kind because kindness is its own reward. 

Love is not judgement and criticism given freely in an attempt to improve someone or improve their situation.  Love is helpful and kind.  Love helps improve another’s situation so that they improve in their own way and in their own time.  Love supports and brings joy and builds an atmosphere of confidence for those who want improve themselves.

Acceptance

Love accepts others as they are; faults and all.  Love says “You are who you are – I am who I am; I love you”.

Love accepts that we all have faults; that we are human and have our frailties; that it is up to each one of us to be the best we can be and improve ourselves and our situations when and if we are willing.

Love chooses to make each day a joy.  Love chooses to be kind.  Love treats each day as a gift; each breath as a gift; this life as a gift; each challenge or problem as a gift and an opportunity to learn.  Love rejoices in it all.

Honesty

Love can be tough too.  Love is honest and honesty can be hard to hear.  Love is tough with itself so that improvements can be made in order to become more loving.  Love tells it like it is with generosity and truth.  Without agenda.

Love is able to let go of those relationships or situations which are not nurturing and sustaining and to move on.  Moving on; moving away from an impossible situation; doesn’t mean a lack of love.  It is an act of love for the self but it is not selfish.  Moving away from and letting go can sometimes be the kindest and most loving thing to do for all concerned.

Love can be sent back into the situation without being present.  When love decides it is harmful emotionally or physically to stay in a damaging environment; it will move on in peace.  Love can be tough.

Love does not deal out recriminations.  What is done is done.

Your opportunity to love

Live every day as a new opportunity to love yourself, your life, your environment, your circumstances and those around you with kindness and gratitude.  Love your challenges and problems with gratitude as you allow them to help you to grow stronger and even more loving.

Love, learn, grow every day.  Love is its own reward.

Bee

bee@thelifedesignstudio.com

© copyright 2011 http://thelifedesignstudio.com, opportunity to love

An Opportunity to Love is a post from: The Life Design Studio

World peace somehow doesn’t seem so impossible does it when we see how well these bosom buddies get on.

The phrase “the lion shall lie down with the lamb” is a much quoted phrase from the Christian Bible, but look for yourself – its not there!  It is misquoted!

World Peace | The Lion Shall Lie Down with the Lamb is a post from: The Life Design Studio

How to make a relationship work well is one of the most common problems that my clients struggle with.

When they come to see me they’ve usually got to the point of talking about splitting up but have decided – one or both of them – that they’ll seek help first before the relationship falls apart.

Usually they are either arguing constantly or one is nagging and the other is silent or neither are talking to the other!  This is no way to live and it really doesn’t have to be that way.

What can be done about that?  How can they change their relationship with each other?  Some powerful techniques are offered my Free e Book - Ten Top Tips for Sustainable Relationships which you can request by using the box in the right sidebar.

Learning Simple Techniques About How To Make a Relationship Work is the Key

The first important factor I have to get over to my client is that I can only help the person sitting in front of me change and not the person sitting at home.  Even though they often ask me for ways to change their partner that really isn’t possible.  People only change when they want to and the one who comes to see me has decided, in the words of the song, that “something’s gotta give”.

If they knew how to make a relationship work in the first place they wouldn’t be with me but I don’t need a lot in the way of “case history” – that is the ‘story’ of the problem because all stories come down to one fact in the end.  It isn’t working because one or both partners wants the other one to change to suit them and the other one doesn’t want to change.

There is a very simple answer to the problem but it really is a cop out.  It’s  “If you don’t like the person you’re with, find someone else”.  It’s a cop out because there’s a lot you can do to begin liking the person you’re with by just approaching your problems a little differently.

There is a lot more about how to make a relationship work in my free e-book entitled “Ten Top Tips for Sustainable Relationships”.  Request a copy in the box in the right sidebar of this site.

© copyright 2011 http://thelifedesignstudio.com how to make a relationship work

How to Make A Relationship Work Well is a post from: The Life Design Studio

“If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either”

Do you love yourself?

A wise sage once said “if you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you?” and yet many people still think it’s narcissistic to love oneself. 

I have clients who want to improve their confidence and self esteem and yet they have no belief in their own worth and many of them have attracted a partner who abuses them verbally, emotionally or even physically.  They constantly suffer streams of criticism because they somehow believe they deserve it.

People who suffer abuse may do so for many reasons.  For instance they may have been so used to abuse and criticism as a child they never felt worthy or good; they may have done something for which they still feel guilty or ashamed and subconsciously seek punishment; they may have lived in a home where the parents never showed them how to be confident and strong or where they received no love or they may be suffering abuse from another because it gives them the opportunity to be seen as the “good” one in the relationship – a chance to be a martyr.

These people often think of themselves as the victim in the relationship but I would say both parties living this pattern are just as scarred as one another.

Victim number one is the perpetrator of the abuse.  Why does he or she need to put other people down?  Perhaps it’s the only way they feel in control, perhaps they have such low self esteem that they have to criticise others to feel better about themselves.  One thing is for sure:  they are very low in self-esteem and they’re very insecure.  If you have high self esteem and you feel secure in yourself you don’t have to put someone else down to feel better about yourself.  You don’t always have to be right or have everything go your way.

Victim number two is seen as the ‘weaker’ member of this type of relationship although that isn’t always so.  They are seen as the doormat for the stronger party to wipe their boots upon.

It’s very sad that people choose to treat one another in abusive ways and if you are either the perpetrator or the receiver of abuse or consistent criticism, do consider finding a way to improve your self-estimate, your self-love and thereby your peace of mind.

The difference between loving yourself and narcissism is this:  Loving yourself healthily is when you recognise that you are doing your best; you’re a good person at heart and you are proud of the way you treat yourself and others.  Loving yourself in an unhealthy way is when you boast endlessly about your achievements, constantly upstage others and think you’re better than they are.

With love

Bee

Loving Yourself | Abused or Abuser is a post from: The Life Design Studio

Has anyone ever told you how you should behave, how you should think, what you should or shouldn’t say or do?  Has anyone laid the sins of their world at your door – their life is a mess because of you and your actions.

Perhaps you’ve been the one dishing out the judgement.  Maybe you have – just once or twice in your life – told someone they should be different.  Maybe you have expected someone to think and act as you think that they should.

As human beings we are very good at thinking our way is the right way.  And IT IS.  It is exactly the right way for US.  But not for everyone else.

In my clinic I often hear people call themselves perfectionists and they  believe that their perfection should rub off on others.  That the people around them should behave in the same way because it’s the only ‘right’ way.  Often the people who they are badgering go out and do the opposite because they are so fed up with being told they’re wrong all the time.

So, when it comes to adult to adult communication let me be a little bit controversial here :

Do you have any right to tell someone else how to be any more

than they have the right to tell you how to be?

What are the options?

What you do have a right to do is to let them know how you feel when they behave a certain way and give them a choice about whether they change their behaviour or not.  Once they have decided NOT to change that gives you a choice of whether to compromise or change your own perspectives or move on but does it give you the right to consistently tell them they’re wrong, even if you believe it from the bottom of your heart.  They are wrong for you but they have decided that their actions are right for themselves and they are prepared to live with the consequences even if you’re not.

What a dilemma this is.  Relationships fall apart because of this need in us to change another person who doesn’t want to be changed and we need to ask ourselves “If I want him / her to be so different to how he / she is; shouldn’t I go and find someone who’s more like that”.  I appreciate this isn’t a simple or easy step to take and is often tied up with responsibility, duty, finances and many other factors.  The trouble is that all the while you are trying to change someone you are wearing yourself out in a battle you can only lose.  That person will very likely become more and more resentful.  Just as you would if someone were doing the same to you.

Find some peace if you can.  Allow others to be just as they are without trying to change them.  Enjoy the good in them where possible.  Compromise where it feels OK to you.  Let them go if necessary.  Allow yourself the space, time and peace to love yourself.  I’ve often observed that those people who have the most trouble in external relationships have not mastered their relationship with themselves.   There are plenty of books, tapes and therapists out there to help you if you want to learn to love yourself more and my next blog will deal with just that theme too.

I do hope these suggestions help because I don’t have the right to tell you how to think!

With respect
Bee

You Shouldn’t Be Like That, You Should Be More Like Me is a post from: The Life Design Studio

It’s not surprising that everyday life brings on aches and pains. Hours spent sitting in front of a computer screen, doing work around the house, and handling the tensions of life can take a toll on the intricate workings of the musculoskeletal system.

5 Most Common Types of Pain

1. Migraine/headache
2. Back
3. Joint/arthritis
4. Overuse/strain injuries
5. Arm/Leg/musculoskeletal

Over-the-counter pain medications and heat or cold treatments can provide relief for occasional pain. But when your headache, backache, or muscular pain continues or recurs over many months, you have chronic pain, and it can seriously disrupt your quality of life.

A recent study revealed that nearly half of chronic pain cases have no clear cause, and that 25% of patients with head or back pain were still experiencing symptoms 12 months after visiting their doctor.

You may not have to live with chronic pain. Some experts assert that rather than mask or tolerate chronic pain, you may be able to stop it by learning to regulate your body with the power of your mind.

How Do Mind-Body Interventions Work?

Mind-body advocates contend that you have more power over your pain than you realize. Your brain and central nervous system are connected and constantly talk to each other, sending and receiving signals such as pain messages. Typically, these messages result from injury or illness and stop once the body is healed. Mind-body interventions are based on the idea that this messaging system can break down, causing miscommunication between the mind and body.

When pain messaging systems break down, constant or chronic pain messages may be sent even after the original cause of the pain is fully healed. Pain treatment programs that use mind–body interventions help interrupt these pain messages and reestablish healthy communication along the nerve paths to the brain.

You Do Have Control Over Pain

Over the past few decades, a wealth of research has confirmed that mind–body therapies, either alone or with other treatments, may help cure various types of pain and prevent pain recurrence. Techniques that were once considered complementary or alternative, such as, behavioral therapy, biofeedback, cognitive therapy, guided/visual imagery, hypnosis, meditation, and relaxation therapy have now become mainstream.

Studies have demonstrated the usefulness of various mind-body interventions in the management of many types of pain, such as migraine or tension-type headaches, fibromyalgia, acute sciatica, and several other conditions for which no specific cause has been found.

Your Chronic Pain: What’s Mixing Up the Messages?

Feelings of anxiety, tension, anger, or depression could cause a disconnection between your mind and body. When your brain is frequently forced to respond to such emotions, it essentially rewires itself to keep up with the barrage of negative stimuli. As a result, your brain may send erroneous pain messages to your body. With mind-body intervention, the first step is to examine your behaviors and environment with a doctor or therapist to identify factors that may be causing the pain reaction. The next step is to develop more productive ways to handle the stressors that you face every day so that you have more control over your physiological response to these emotions. Depending on your condition, this process may take only a few weeks or may become a regular part of your health routine.

Approach with Caution

Whether you are recovering from illness, injury, or surgery or are unsure what’s causing your pain, do some homework before you dive into this pain therapy. First, check with your healthcare provider to rule out the possibility of a more serious condition. Then, get advice on reputable practitioners and mind-body treatment centers available in your area. Also, be aware that not all are covered by health insurance, so cost may be a consideration.

Article courtesy of Real Age.  Click here to read more.

Can You Cure Chronic Pain With Your Mind? is a post from: The Life Design Studio